Defensive Gardening

Trying to Garden Peacefully While Battling an Army of Psychotic Squirrels Plus Other Random Thoughts


Posted by Ellis on Friday, August 1st, 2008

I’ve been saving this up thinking that I would have more than three freaking examples, but no one has sent me any pictures yet and I can’t find that picture of that crazy church in a blow up tent outside of Sumter that OAA sent to me a few years ago…
Before I get any comments (already got one from NB), I already know that there are steeple companies out there. I just doubt that when a person says, “Hey, I’m going to start a steeple company,” he/she really expects to be putting steeples on strange buildings.
So, here are some pictures (with snotty comments of course) of churches in South Carolina…
The trailer church:

When you want to start a church but just can’t find a Western Auto building to rent (thanks for that info, MF – now I realize what your initials look like so I’m gonna have to refer to you as Mel, just to avoid the MF assumptions as to what those initials stand for – jeez!), just buy a freaking trailer and stick a steeple on it! 

And these people are really laid back down at Edisto – as evidenced by their parking signs at the trailer church:



I imagine that they would know what 420 means…

The ranch church:

I would imagine that if this beauty goes up for sale, the flyer would read: “Three bedroom, two bath ranch-style house complete with hardwood floors throughout, pulpit in the living room, and DID WE MENTION THE STEEPLE? A must have for any Jesus?lovin’ Southerner! Screw those WWJD bracelets – you can sleep under the steeple and preach/rant to your kids from the pulpit EVERY DAY! This one’s in Florence of course…”
The TV station church:
Okay, whose bright idea was it to stick a steeple on the old WPDE building? This building’s greatest claim to fame in my book is that some boys I went to high school with hid in the woods next to the “satellite farm” and pelted the weatherman with snowballs back in 1988 or 1989 (yeah, on the live newscast, hee hee) when we ACTUALLY had REAL snow fall in town. And now someone’s stuck a steeple on it? Ridiculous!
If I take some of my windfall and buy a digital video camera, don’t be surprised if there’s a video entry of the nephew wearing a cheesy polyester plaid sport coat with a clip-on tie doing an infomercial for 1-800-STEEPLE!
We’re going to have to work on that one…  Seriously!  I’m calling this as copyrighted material right now because I’ll have the nephew for a week come Sunday and this will be our project!  We may make it onto the Ellen show…  Which would be great if we could get there without psycho tagging along!

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